I consider myself to be a pretty good driver. I've never been in any accidents that I have caused, and I've never had a speeding ticket. (Now that I have said that, I am probably going to get pulled over and then I'll rear-end someone after that because I'll be so flustered about being pulled over!)
Anywho, so let me just discuss a few things that get my blood boiling when I am behind the wheel...
Alright, now I know for a fact that I am not the only one who does the "Posted Speed Limit + 5 miles per hour = The Real Speed Limit" thing, so don't pretend that you don't! So, I'm cruising along at the "real speed limit" and people are passing me!! Yeah, I guess for some people the equation is, "Posted Speed Limit + 25 miles per hour = 'What I will drive until I see a cop car', then it will be 'Posted Speed Limit -5 miles per hour, until I am out of view of the cop car.'"
Anyway, most of us have made up our own speed limits, but one thing I canNOT stand, is when I am going 5 miles per hour over the posted speed limit and someone starts "riding me" like I am going slow or something! GO AROUND ME!!!!! For crying out loud!! Push on your accelerator a little more and drive around me! Don't get so dangerously close to the back of my car with yours! And I love it, how they stare into YOUR rear view mirror, giving you the nastiest look like you are committing some sort of crime or something, and they are about to murder your first born child of you don't speed up. Well guess what, jerks?
That sort of attitude does NOT intimidate me! In fact, it infuriates me, and it doesn't make me want to go faster, no no no, it makes me want to go SLOWER! So, being the mature person that I am, I tap on the brakes...This drives them crazy! So their natural reaction is to do what they should have done in the first stinking place, and that is to DRIVE AROUND ME!
So, as they start to go around me, well, I do what I must do, and that is to speed back up.
What?!?! They had every opportunity to just go around me, but did they?? NO! They decided to make this a war, not me! Well, they started a war that they're not going to win!
I never do let them pass me, why you ask? Because it's the principle of the matter, they could have done the right thing, but didn't.
So anyway, I get to my destination, and the shopping mall parking lot is complete chaos! I am driving up and down the aisles looking for a parking space, when all of the sudden some jerk who is not even paying attention starts to back out of a space and they almost hit my car! Do I honk at them? No! This is not Chicago or New York, so I back up a bit and sit there and give them the look of death (you know? The one where you are peering into their soul?) and I see them look toward my car and they clearly notice my car, but they always manage to avoid looking into my eyes that are burning with anger. They look around like nothing is wrong and nonchalantly back out of the space. Well, I start to cool off a little bit, because at the very least I will get this decent parking space they are pulling out of.
Wait a minute...they are backing out towards my car and there's another car coming around from the other side...NO!!!!!! This is not happening to me!! Well, yes it is, that other car pulls into MY parking space and I am left sitting there feeling like my whole world is crashing down. So, I do what anyone else would do and I pull up behind the "Space Stealers" and I give them the look of death!! Not that it does much good, but at least I made my point and gave them something to talk about for about 10 minutes.
So, I keep driving around looking for a parking space and I get behind a group of about 8 teenagers, walking down the MIDDLE OF THE AISLE! I guess that the whole "Single File" walking in Kindergarten never stuck with them! I mean, SERIOUSLY! Get out of the middle of the freaking aisle way!!! It wouldn't be such a blood boiler if they weren't walking so dang slow!!
They'd be running if it were getting in line for tickets to a Justin Bieber concert, but now's not the time to show enthusiasm, nope, they are too cool to walk quickly. Some of them could probably walk faster if they'd pull their pants up! I mean, come on!! No one wants to see your underwear! Also, if God had intended for us to look like and walk like penguins, He wouldn't have given us two separate legs! No, He would have just stuck our feet to our butts and we'd be waddling everywhere. But we have two legs, and "pants" that are worn to keep those legs separate and fully able to function at a normal capacity, but hey, maybe they are all doing science projects on the lifestyle of a penguin and they are trying to "im-penguin-ate" them! Get it? Instead of "Impersonate"? lol! Oh dear...
Anyway, clothing choices, that's a whole other Blog...
Another parking lot issue I constantly run into "almost literally" sometimes, is shopping carts. Seriously people, there are these things in parking lots, big metal structures called "CART RETURNS"! When you're done with your cart, the carts are supposed to be placed in the cart return! Not left in the empty parking space next to yours! Because then that causes a lot of unnecessary stress and anger for people (like me) who are trying to find a parking space and find out that there's a shopping cart in the space!
It's about as frustrating as finding a motorcycle or a Smart Car in a space that you think is available. Put the cart away!! It's not that difficult! You just got done walking up and down every aisle in the store and you're telling me that you're too tired to walk another 10 feet to a cart return? Come on! What really chafes my hind end is when you see carts literally RIGHT NEXT TO THE CART RETURN!! Right next to it?? Come on people!! You're telling me that you couldn't push the cart another couple inches into the cart return?!
I can see it now, they just finished walking 3 miles through the store, they walk all the way out to their car which is parked very conveniently right next to a cart return, they load their groceries into their vehicle and are so beyond exhaustion at this point. They lack any and all motivation and if they take one more step, they might collapse due to the strenuous activities they had just partaken in. With the last ounce of strength and willpower, they push the card 1/2 inch and there it sits, right outside the cart return. Unable to carry on with the agony and stress anymore, they get into their vehicle and leave. Do they even realize or care what kind of "stress" and "agony" they are causing for other people? My guess is, they don't.
Anyway, so on the way home, I just hope that there are more normal drivers. I can't get that fortunate, who am I kidding?!
So, I am sitting in the right turn lane behind another car...Yes, our light is red, however, you can turn if you see that there are no other cars coming...does this guy turn? No...of course not. He sits there for a whole minute until we have a green light! No biggie, I can get over that, I guess.
So, I am driving down the road and I get behind someone who is kind of swerving all over the road...wait a second...is there even anyone driving this car?? I can't see a head over the headrest...is this a runaway car?!?! What's going on here? And why is it having a hard time staying in it's lane?? I get up next to it, and see a "baby" driving the car! Yes, it's just a kid (teenagers who are old enough to drive anymore these days are looking younger and younger, before you know it, there's going to be a baby car seat in the driver's seat and that kid is going to be 16!...just wait!) So, they are barely able to see over the dashboard and they are driving all over the place, so I speed up to get past them. I come to another stop light, and you know how I was complaining about the guy who wouldn't turn when he could, even though the light was red? Well, how about the people who don't go when the light is GREEN?! Yeah, those are great people...they are looking around, daydreaming...again, do I honk? Nah...I scream at them. "GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COME ON MOVE!!! THE LIGHT IS GREEN!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" I shout at the top of my lungs! Yeah, I know, they don't hear me, but I feel a little bit better about my life if I yell at people. See, I don't like confrontation, so if I yell at them from the comfort of my own car, and they can't hear me, it's better for me. So, I sit through another light because they realized at the very last second that the light was green, and they speed through the yellow light, and I have to wait!
Another thing that drives me crazy, when I am at a stoplight and the person or people in the car next to me is staring at me!!! What the heck?!?! Do I have something hanging off my face? Is there a space alien making faces at you from the backseat of my car?? Stop looking at me!! Keep your eyes ahead of you on the road! I hate it when people do this because you can "feel" their eyes on you!! It's so uncomfortable and you have to sit there and endure it until the light turns green...so finally the light turns green and you try to get ahead of them. You think you are in the clear when you come to another red light, and guess who pulls up next to you? Yep, that's right...the STARERS! Apparently that alien is still in your backseat because they can't keep their eyes off of your car...good grief folks! This makes it so uncomfortable for me in particular, because one thing about me...I like to jam in my car when I am driving...yep, I like to sing along with songs while I am driving. Well, if every time I stop, people are looking at me like I just birthed a Sasquatch, it makes it difficult to move my mouth with the lyrics. I am not the type of person that can just jam at a stoplight, head bobbing, singing along, windows down...I wish I had that confidence, but those are the types I giggle at. I look at them and I am like, "Wow, they must really like that song!!" But I am the type that if I come to a stoplight I will just mumble the lyrics or cover my mouth while I sing along...no one needs to know I am singing!
I also hate it when people cut me off!!! If you knew you needed to be in the lane I am in, get in behind me!! Don't speed up and practically run me off the road to get into this lane!! Even more than that, the ones that just tick me right off are the ones that cut me off and then go SLOW!!! If you're going to be a jerk and cut me off, at least be a jerk that goes FAST when you cut me off! When someone cuts me off, I go around them, and I purposefully give them a mean look when I drive past them, because yes, they just ruined my life for a few minutes!
There are many kinds of driving experiences to be had out there...but as for road rage, I'd say that maybe I have a little "LOT" of it! Just a teensy tiny "TON" of it! Not too much, just a BUNCH of it!
How about you? Got any road rage? I bet if you look deep down inside, you have a little "Road Rage" monster that works his way out every once in a while. Some more than others, but just remember, it's not YOU that's the bad driver...it's EVERYONE ELSE!!! :D
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