One size fits ALL? REALLY?

Hello Folks! In this blog I am going to discuss something that has never made sense to me.
Ever go shopping and find a piece of clothing and you look for the size and it simply says, "One Size Fits All"? I would like to say right here, right now... NO IT DOES NOT!

Who the heck is "All"?!?!?  I want to see this person! I want to see what "All" looks like! Because clearly I should be within the definition of "All", but my gosh...there's no way I can wear some of those "One size fits all" things! I want to know who the heck they tried that outfit on when they were like, "Yep, Ted, that is going to fit everyone...let's just put "One Size Fits All" on the tag and call it a day!" 
Yeah right...the conversation was probably more like, "Hey Ted!! Come check this out! This shirt fits the mannequin perfectly!! Wouldn't it be funny as hell if we just put 'One Size Fits All' on this tag??"
Well folks, I have obviously seen mannequins before, and let me tell you something...THEY HAVE NO BOOBS!!!!!!!!!! So you can NOT sit there and tell me that a shirt that fits a "mosquito-bite" size boob is going to fit someone hauling 2 small watermelons around!!!! It just ain't happening!!!
And trust me, when "2 watermelon" lady tries to stuff herself in that one size fits all, it's not a pretty picture...not unless you like Uni-boobs! That's all those shirts do...make it look like your 2 watermelons have joined to make one giant watermelon...not cool.
So, I think that "OSFA" (Yeah, I said OSFA cause I am cool like that, and if you can't tell what that means, stop, go back to the beginning and read again, cause you missed something...like the point of this blog!!!) should not exist anymore. It is cruel and unusual to try cramming all body types into one size...I don't care how much the designer hopes and dreams of all women in the world being mannequin shaped, it's not gonna happen!


Now, I would like to say one thing about this OSFA industry.  I would like to give them props for attempting to change their ways a little bit. Yes, I have seen this subtle change and I applaud their effort. I have seen some articles of clothing that no longer say "One Size Fits All"...no, they now say, "One Size Fits MOST"!
Most??!?! Really? Ok, I know I said that I applaud their effort...but NOT ANYMORE! It's still ridiculous! It's the same size as the "OSFA" but they just changed it to "OSFM"!

I think they just need to quit trying.  Just put a tag in it that says, "If You're Not As Small As A Mannequin, Keep Walking. You Will Never Be Able To Wear This Shirt!"  OR  "If Your Breasts Are Any Bigger Than Mosquito-Bites This Top Is Not For You."

Maybe I should go into the "Tag Making" Industry. Maybe I am in the wrong line of work.

The other really bad thing about labeling things as "One Size Fits All" is because there are some women out there who believe EVERYTHING THEY READ!!!!  Come on people! Spare us!!  If you can't BREATHE in the top, IT DOES NOT FIT YOU!!!!  If it doesn't cover you, it does NOT FIT! If people can see body parts that are not supposed to be exposed in public (unless you're on a nude beach), well then, honey, that outfit is NOT for you.  Don't believe everything you read....TAGS LIE!!!

One Size Fits All is what we can consider like a Unicorn...A Myth...A LIE!  Don't believe it girls...it's like a man telling you that something looks "GREAT" on you when you know for a fact it makes your butt look big...but that's neither here nor there.

Bottom Line is: One Size Fits All, MY BUTT!!!!!!